Me & my weird dreams

I dreamed this today! May 1, 2013

I don't know why but I suddenly dreamed about this. I was not thinking about him or about anyone. I can't remember the face but I know it was a guy and I don't know if I was waiting for him, or maybe I just met him by accident, or he's a friend or maybe we met again.. I don't know heheheh It's weird but I felt it's something like a vision or just one of my fantasies hihihi :) I remember the clothes I wore and my hair was long with bangs hihihihi I can't remember the place and when I drew the picture I just added details. I know I was with somebody. I felt nervous that I think I know what was going to happen.. Then I woke up......

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. When it comes to the good part.. It always gets cut!!!! hehehe Oh well.. somehow that's it! I wanted to treasure the moment so I sketched it so that I can remember it if ever it does happen hihihi If God allows it then let His will be done.. AMEN! Hopefully to be continued!! hihihih

So let's call it a day.. Good night! :) Happy Labor day!!!!!!!!! So blessed to have a job! :)) All for God. All for Love! :)) Thank you Lord for this hope and vision! Have your way!!!! May God be praised!

Face painting

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Face painting lang pag may time (usually Thursday if available)

The best thing about my job at the nursery is being able to practice my art skills through face/body painting. For now it's just mastering the basic designs the kids love like butterfly, spider, batman, etc. Simple designs like a crown or flower can really brighten up their day and make them very happy. So practice makes perfect.

Discovering your passion is a great blessing to pursue because you love doing it and others became happy because of it. :) Being able to think other conservative or alternative ideas when things are not available is truly amazing heheh who would know that mixing a regular paint with a face paint can really look good? The face paint colors we had were just yellow and green.. and by mixing it with the water paint colors make a good combi! :) I hope it doesn't irritate the skin of the kids hihihi :) I'm happy because I made the kids happy hahahah.. so gotta practice more so that I can be good at it and that may God be glorified by the works of my hands...

Happy Labor day!! :) Yahooooooooooo! <3

VOICE OUT

So now for a good start for the day... I decided to pray and ask God about His message for me today.. He then whispered to me the words He wanted me to do and that is to decide to love, forgive and stay humble. He blessed me with a HOPE to believe in good things and that I should always trust His plans and timings. He assured me to be still knowing that He is God and I am not. He is merciful and nothing escapes Him. Yes Lord, I will struggle and bleed just to do good and follow your words. I will continue to fight for what's right with all my might. Thank you for the love that you always make me feel and I know this is real. I surrender all of these to You, my God. :)

 So far I had a good start.. No issues. No heartaches! No expectations.. Nothing painful to feel or hide. Just happiness and enjoying the work..

When afternoon came.. Crisis starts to hit me.. like boooooooooooom... I felt being attacked and helpless.. I felt burdened and distracted. It's as if I felt being stabbed on my chest and then I noticed myself eating. I then remembered I might be depressed. There's an eating problem here and I guess I cling on to food much so that I could up. It could be stress, work related issues, relationships, emo feelings, pain/hurts, etc. I don't know what's mess up and I continue to ask God. I guess the burden I've been carrying keeps getting heavier each day. I am always faced with different situations like this and I am always affected. I guess the reason I'm gaining weight is my uncontrolled eating. I lost focus and discipline because some areas of my life is not right. I cope up and struggle to make things right but there are always contrabidas who would interfere. I don't know if it's laziness or bahala na attitude or maybe jealousy?? Who knows? All I know and felt is, this is not right! What would they feel if they are treated like this? So unfair and I hope they'll realize it sooner or later. Honestly I'm sick and tired of the same issue and I just can't keep quiet and pretend like it's nothing. I guess the zip-your-mouth days are over and I need to speak up a bit more. This is toooo much mah pren! I need to VOICE OUT... not now but soon!

Do guide me Lord. Bless me the endurance to endure and be strong! I'll always keep holding on and forgive me Lord for my offenses. Help me to change for the better and heal me of the aches that I keep within. Help me to control my anger and let it out properly. Calm and allow me to control myself when I'm at my peak. Help me to go through this Oh Lord! Be with me and bless me always and my family! Be in control and assure me of the plans you have for my life. I will trust and be hopeful in Your presence and right timing.

Oh God.. In You, All things are possible~ :))
(Let your voice be heard..SHOUT OUT! -RYC ILOILO 2009)

I pray...

Lord when things and experiences are hard to understand, let me learn to love and follow your command. Teach me to trust, love, hope, pray and have faith in You! Bless me the grace to forgive, to let go and to embrace my imperfections. Let your will be done. I surrender myself to you Lord! These I ask in Jesus' name, Amen! #patient #stillBLESSED #happy

The short prayer I prayed during my travel to Sheraton Creek from Lakes :)) Thank you Lord for a safe trip and for the realization.. :)) #BLESSED! 

1st year as CFC Singles for Christ

Today, April 27, 2013 marks another milestone in my life that I am blessed and grateful for. I never regretted it and I am happy that I choose to accept and be a part of it. Today is a gift that I really cherish and remembering the memories of last year brings me joy. At first it was never easy and after all it was worth all the struggle and God willingly rewarded me beyond what I imagined. After years of waiting, praying, longing and anticipating of moving on to the next chapter of my life and leaving my comfort zone which was in CFC Youth for Christ, I finally decided to crossover to CFC SFC. God prepared my heart and my maturity for me to let go and to accept where He wants me to be.

Today, I am celebrating my first year officially as a member of CFC Singles for Christ. Thank you Lord! Praise God!

I entered the CFC SFC community last January 2012. We had 13 talks for the CLP (Christian Life Program) and we ended last April 2012. I met a lot of good and inspiring people that inspired me to also inspire others and served as a guide. God answered my prayer because I was seeking Him and I was longing for a family to belong in Dubai. Being away from your loved ones is a struggle that we always try to overcome and I have found them here. I would never imagine that I have reached this far. God is so amazing and no words can describe how wonderfully He has molded, guided and led me to a life that's full of purpose and blessed me with a household, with friends and a family in the community. The SFC community opened doors of opportunities for me to serve, to grow, to improve, to be better and more lessons to learn. It made my life complete and worth living.

Blessed by God. Gifted with Loved.

I am grateful for God blessed me with a Household head who’s ever supportive, loving, caring and forgiving, my Nanay este Mudra Annie and to my special sisters in crime este sisters at heart, Ate Lhen, Ate Phet, Ate Kath and adopted sister Ate Ann hehehe.. Thank you for your understanding, love and patience. I love and miss you big time! God knows how blessed and thankful I am for knowing you and for uniting us as one household! Looking forward to serve with you and be with you during activities!!!

Cheers to the 1^st Anniversary in CFC Singles for Christ! Praying for many more joyful memories and endless heart to serve a great God and somehow be a full-pledged missionary in God's time and if God permits.

Lord thank you so much for everything! Everything I am now is all thanks to your grace and divine providence. May I be a source of forgiveness, joy, hope, love, peace, humility, unity and faith to your people. Use me Lord as an instrument to inspire, to bless, to witness and to proclaim your greatness throughout the ends of the earth. Teach me your ways Lord and make me your servant. Please have your way in me. Let your will be done. All of these I ask in Jesus' name and through the intercession of Mother Mary, Amen!!  

And for this, may God be praised! :)) Hallelujah!!!!

Carrying the CROSS

I remember the story I heard from a priest in his homily. It was during a bible study wherein they finish discussing something and the preacher decided to let them bring their cross on the next bible study and everyone agreed.

The awaited day came and the attendees brought with them their own cross with different shapes, sizes and composition. Some carried metal, plastics, wood and china-wares. Some had pink, blue, black, brown, white and rainbow colors. Some brought small, medium, big, pocket and even life-sized. Then everybody was asked to raise their hands and their crosses. The priest then noticed a woman without any cross. He asked the woman: "Where is your cross? Didn't we agree to bring a cross today?" The woman answered: "I did bring my own cross and it's my husband!"

We all have our own cross to carry. It can be your husband or wife, work, family, siblings, relatives, money issues, unresolved conflicts, friends, pressure, health, inability to forgive, personal concerns, religion, addictions, relationships and other things. We become attached to the world that we forget the importance of the cross. The cross serves us the bridge to God. Jesus saved us from our sins and renewed us. The cross is a sign of God's ultimate and unconditional love for man through the suffering of His own begotten Son, Jesus Christ. It is through the cross that we share the same suffering and the same experiences Jesus did.

 

Jesus is the bridge that connects People to God..

The question now is, Are you willing to follow Jesus by carrying your own cross? Are you ready to obey and witness the fulfillment of His promises and the miracles He will reveal? Are you mission ready to go and serve His people to the ends of the earth or wherever He wants you to go? God wants your sincere YES because He has called you by name and surely He knows you'll say YES because this is for the BEST! :D 

May God bless our hearts and give us the grace to carry our own cross as we live our life for His glory! Keep and nourish the desire to serve God in our heart forever remain! All for God! :) Praise the Great God! AMEN! :) Thank you Lord! <3 :)

WORTH THE STRUGGLE!!!!

The fruit of hard work!

I was asked by my co-worker to setup the new toy in our nursery last week! I immediately said "YES" because I am fascinated with putting up things together or building stuffs! At first I didn't know where to start or even how shall I do it.. So I checked the instructions and the pictures.

Then as I was going on, the kids were so curious as to what I was doing and kept asking me about it. They were somehow excited of the outcome since it looks cool and new in their eyes. I told them to wait and play as I was constructing the toy. I started putting the stickers and I felt confused since the instructions showed pictures and numbers also letters. I felt like solving a math puzzle hahaha.. The kids then wondered why I was taking so long and some offered to help me do it. :)

It took me like 2-3 hours in constructing this toy! I felt relieved and happy to be able to do it! All the effort I gave was paid with happiness and smiles from the kids as they were playing with it. The problem however is that the material is easy to break and you need to keep on placing it in since it comes off. 1 week after the setup, the toy is still fine but some of the pieces are missing hahaha! Oh well! It's not made to last for kids below 4 but after all, it's WORTH THE STRUGGLE! :))

#blessed    #happy    #love    #allforGod

PLAYING GUITAR: MY SOURCE OF PEACE

(i wrote this yesterday: April 19, 2013)

 

I started playing and learning the guitar again. I don't know why but I felt like trying and this time I'm determined to master it (hopefully).. These past few days I didn't feel like playing it because of the pain since the "cables on my fingers" are not evident anymore thus pressing it on the string really hurts. I didn't know why today I wanted to try playing it.

I felt happy because I tried playing the songs well and the sound became music to my ears. Why? Before I didn't like the sound every time I strum the strings because I am hearing a dull sound but as I was playing somehow it resembles that of an acoustic string. The guitar I borrowed has nylon strings which produces a different sound when being strummed than the acoustic. I, however try to listen to the sound of the chord if ever I forget the right chord of the song. I really fail in remembering chords hihihi so I usually depend on my hearing and listening to the sound when I play.

I played several songs today namely, Heart of Worship, Oh I Love You, Larger than life, Have your way, Hallelujah, Freedom and Praiseworthy!!!

As I played those songs I noticed that the sounds coming were beautiful to my ears. It's like my brain is encouraging me to keep playing. I asked myself, Is it because I opened myself to God and allowed Him to heal me? Am I creating beautiful music despite my brokenness in the past? All along the guitar wasn't the reason why I couldn't play it right because it was me who was having a problem. I admit I was struggling with my faith and prayer time still and I am disturbed by my past hurt and experiences.

It was then that it became clear to me that despite the brokenness that I have been through and after all the SFC activities, God remained faithful to me. God never let me go even if I was the one who already gave up and let Him go. It was me who decided not to attend mass last week. It was I who ran away and who's lost. It was I who was selfish, lazy, stubborn and doubtful. It was I who needed God the most. He made me realize that it was just a bend and it's not the end. God gave me hope that I should continue doing whatever he wants me to do. He assured me that HE LOVES ME!!! I felt His love and His greatness is unexplainable. I felt secured knowing that God remains the same even if His people change. 

I really felt at peace as I was studying and playing the songs maybe because those are my favorite YFC worship songs. I always long to hear them being played during worship and they never fail to make my heart leap for joy as I sing praises to God. As for the slow songs, they never fail to cleanse me within and I always find myself praying and serenading it to God. Awwwwww! I miss the songs where I grow up singing with! Still I hope and pray that soon the YFC songs will also be passed on and be integrated in SFC. Slowly and surely in God's time!!!!

Broken chords can still play good music. Broken people can still be healed and play a better music. (tama ba? Makes sense? Hihihihi >>>190413<<<

 

Reminiscing my guitar moments.. =) #priceless #peace #joy #passion #love #blessed 

OUTBURST!!!

Don't make decisions when you're angry, sad or happy because they can deceive you. Make decisions when you are at ease and at peace.

I am fed up being treated unfairly. I know life's not fair but this is too much. I am at my peak and somehow I can't rationalize as to why they are treating me like this. I am a good person and I treat them kindly and as opposite as to how they treat me. I guess everybody has their own boiling point. And I just exploded. Literally burst out into tears and my anger took control of me and my emotions affected my behavior.

Questions began to cloud up my mind.. "What have I done to deserve this?" "Why is it so hard to deal with them?" "Why is it unfair?" "Why is it always me?" "Why do I need to please them?" "Why did you allow this to happen?" "Is this the end or a bend?" "Lord I don't know how or what to do now." "How can I overcome this?"

I asked God because I couldn't understand or rationalize it anymore. I felt so tired and somehow I couldn't carry the baggage any longer. I felt I couldn't continue living with this hurt and accepting the present and the reality. It was then finally when I admitted that there's something wrong and that God remains under control.

You see, I am hardworking and I never count my efforts nor tried to compare. I am trying to embrace the job that I am in despite the challenges and difficulties that I always experience. I always give my best but sometimes some people just act like they don't care and that they're selfish. I felt working alone and doing everything to please them and I felt tired. Somehow I lost interest and I didn't feel happy anymore. I always humble myself and I chose not to say anything I against them. I would always put myself least among them. I chose not to say anything and I tend to be quiet. So basically I suppressed every emotion deep within me. I kept it all in my heart all the unfair treatment, work pressure, stress, complaints, accepting different responsibilities, racial discrimination, false judgment, anger and perhaps everything. I had complaints that I couldn't voice out and God sees and knows that.

It was during this week that I gave up. I burst out because I felt embarrassed as they were teasing me as I took a picture of them. Of course I also want to be in the pictures too. I took it thrice and I assumed that it was my turn. But then again they did it and told me again til I felt being laughed at. I couldn't handle it anymore and I just walked out. I burst out into tears and that's where I questioned God. You see, I have memories during my school years that still hurt me when I am being laughed at. I guess it's my fear and I felt ashamed and embarrassed when everybody is laughing at me (or maybe not) but I am extremely affected. I am a type of person who fears being embarrassed and laughed at by many and I would just cry like baby. I easily cry because I can't handle the feeling of being embarrassed. I myself couldn't explain why I'm like that.

I went home burdened and angered. I tried to listen to songs to calm me down. I even cried in the cr of MOE because I couldn't hide it anymore. I felt I needed to let it out and there I was bursting out and crying to God. Then it all boils to one point and when things started to cool down and as I was relaxing, I felt I made a wrong decision but I had to do it because it's too much for me to hide. I can't describe the kind of face and aura I had during that time. All I know is I was angered and I was depressed. God never failed to comfort me and I found myself talking to Him. It was not long before I reached home that I was at peace. God removed my anger and frustrations and He lifted me up. And as I became aware I realized I lost my NOL card. I then noticed that I have been losing things because I was unaware and negligent. I guess I choose to be lax and lazy or maybe just tired?? I never realized that I was changing or yet maybe reverting to the old "me".     

God gives and God takes. I guess when you don't know how to value something then maybe God takes it away to give it to someone who's deserving or someone who's in need. I felt sad but then I know that it's a lesson I should learn and God will bless me with something better.

I learned that, sometimes people are meant to maybe teach, mend, bend or break you as a person for a reason!!! :)) Nothing just happens! :)

"Everything became clear because my eyes were washed away with tears."

I felt ok and now I realized it now. Everything's clear to me. Thank you Lord for making me understand. I know You are sharpening me to be able to write better. I surrender this all to you. Let your will be done. Have your way!

I found comfort through God's word in Psalm 23

MORE FAITH, NO FEAR!!!!

MORE FAITH, NO FEAR

Why more faith and no fear??????

 

It was agreed by the committee that our theme for the first anniversary in Dubai Chapter B3 as Batch 43 of CFC Singles for Christ will be MORE FAITH, (it was formerly LESS) NO FEAR because it coincides with the theme of the Church that is the YEAR OF FAITH and the CFC theme to OBEY and WITNESS!

Here's the evolution of our theme design

We had several suggestions like but we agreed on the MORE FAITH and NO FEAR because… FEAR ENDS WHEN FAITH IN GOD BEGINS. PERFECT LOVE CASTS AWAY FEAR. The best way to conquer our FEAR is FAITH and LOVE FOR GOD. This year, our battle cry is to have MORE FAITH & NO or LESS FEAR!!!

Here's why…

* In order to proclaim the gospel and the good news we should have LESS FEAR and MORE FAITH..

* In order to be sent on a mission and be used as an instrument of God you should have NO FEAR but MORE FAITH..

* For you to be able to OBEY GOD AND WITNESS HIS MIRACLES, it requires NO FEAR BUT MORE FAITH..

* For God to do greater things for your life you must allow yourself to be FEARLESS and MORE FAITH..

* As a child of God, it requires FAITH in believing that He exists though we can't see Him and He assures us UNAFRAID because He's always there.

* To accomplish the mission, our hearts should be FREE FROM FEAR and FULL OF FAITH that whatever it is that may seem impossible will be possible because we believed!

* And by saying YES to the service, you are allowing God to work in your life and to transform you to become the person He wants you to be. By saying YES you are enabling yourself to greater opportunities that will test your FAITH and will conquer your FEARS.

* Fear is nothing compared to the FAITH and LOVE we have for GOD. With God we can accomplish greater and impossible things! We have to believe and have faith because FAITH and LOVE prevails!

MORE FAITH! NO FEAR!

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

1^st Corinthians 16:13