VOICE OUT

So now for a good start for the day... I decided to pray and ask God about His message for me today.. He then whispered to me the words He wanted me to do and that is to decide to love, forgive and stay humble. He blessed me with a HOPE to believe in good things and that I should always trust His plans and timings. He assured me to be still knowing that He is God and I am not. He is merciful and nothing escapes Him. Yes Lord, I will struggle and bleed just to do good and follow your words. I will continue to fight for what's right with all my might. Thank you for the love that you always make me feel and I know this is real. I surrender all of these to You, my God. :)

 So far I had a good start.. No issues. No heartaches! No expectations.. Nothing painful to feel or hide. Just happiness and enjoying the work..

When afternoon came.. Crisis starts to hit me.. like boooooooooooom... I felt being attacked and helpless.. I felt burdened and distracted. It's as if I felt being stabbed on my chest and then I noticed myself eating. I then remembered I might be depressed. There's an eating problem here and I guess I cling on to food much so that I could up. It could be stress, work related issues, relationships, emo feelings, pain/hurts, etc. I don't know what's mess up and I continue to ask God. I guess the burden I've been carrying keeps getting heavier each day. I am always faced with different situations like this and I am always affected. I guess the reason I'm gaining weight is my uncontrolled eating. I lost focus and discipline because some areas of my life is not right. I cope up and struggle to make things right but there are always contrabidas who would interfere. I don't know if it's laziness or bahala na attitude or maybe jealousy?? Who knows? All I know and felt is, this is not right! What would they feel if they are treated like this? So unfair and I hope they'll realize it sooner or later. Honestly I'm sick and tired of the same issue and I just can't keep quiet and pretend like it's nothing. I guess the zip-your-mouth days are over and I need to speak up a bit more. This is toooo much mah pren! I need to VOICE OUT... not now but soon!

Do guide me Lord. Bless me the endurance to endure and be strong! I'll always keep holding on and forgive me Lord for my offenses. Help me to change for the better and heal me of the aches that I keep within. Help me to control my anger and let it out properly. Calm and allow me to control myself when I'm at my peak. Help me to go through this Oh Lord! Be with me and bless me always and my family! Be in control and assure me of the plans you have for my life. I will trust and be hopeful in Your presence and right timing.

Oh God.. In You, All things are possible~ :))
(Let your voice be heard..SHOUT OUT! -RYC ILOILO 2009)