(i wrote this yesterday: April 19, 2013)
I started playing and learning the guitar again. I
don't know why but I felt like trying and this time I'm determined to master it
(hopefully).. These past few days I didn't feel like playing it because of the
pain since the "cables on my fingers" are not evident anymore thus
pressing it on the string really hurts. I didn't know why today I wanted to try
playing it.
I felt happy because I tried playing the songs well
and the sound became music to my ears. Why? Before I didn't like the sound
every time I strum the strings because I am hearing a dull sound but as I was
playing somehow it resembles that of an acoustic string. The guitar I borrowed
has nylon strings which produces a different sound when being strummed than the
acoustic. I, however try to listen to the sound of the chord if ever I forget
the right chord of the song. I really fail in remembering chords hihihi so I
usually depend on my hearing and listening to the sound when I play.
I played several songs today namely, Heart of
Worship, Oh I Love You, Larger than life, Have your way, Hallelujah, Freedom
and Praiseworthy!!!
As I played those songs I noticed that the sounds
coming were beautiful to my ears. It's like my brain is encouraging me to keep
playing. I asked myself, Is it because I opened myself to God and allowed
Him to heal me? Am I creating beautiful music despite my brokenness in
the past? All along the guitar wasn't the reason why I couldn't play it
right because it was me who was having a problem. I admit I was struggling with
my faith and prayer time still and I am disturbed by my past hurt and
experiences.
It was then that it became clear to me that despite
the brokenness that I have been through and after all the SFC activities, God
remained faithful to me. God never let me go even if I was the one who already
gave up and let Him go. It was me who decided not to attend mass last week. It
was I who ran away and who's lost. It was I who was selfish, lazy, stubborn and
doubtful. It was I who needed God the most. He made me realize that it was just
a bend and it's not the end. God gave me hope that I should continue doing
whatever he wants me to do. He assured me that HE LOVES ME!!! I felt
His love and His greatness is unexplainable. I felt secured knowing that God
remains the same even if His people change.
I really felt at peace as I was studying and
playing the songs maybe because those are my favorite YFC worship songs. I
always long to hear them being played during worship and they never fail to
make my heart leap for joy as I sing praises to God. As for the slow songs,
they never fail to cleanse me within and I always find myself praying and
serenading it to God. Awwwwww!
I miss the songs where I grow up singing with! Still I hope and pray that soon
the YFC songs will also be passed on and be integrated in SFC. Slowly and
surely in God's time!!!!
Broken chords can still play good music. Broken
people can still be healed and play a better music. (tama ba? Makes sense?
Hihihihi >>>190413<<<
Reminiscing my guitar moments.. =) #priceless #peace
#joy #passion #love #blessed
