BENDING without BREAKING

It has been 2 weeks(?) since I last posted or blogged about something.. To admit, I had struggles and I didn't have time to blog about it. For 2 weeks, I experienced the ups and downs, the tears and joy, the questions and doubts and the importance of prayer, letting go and allowing God to take over. Things have been tough on me and I always have a heart break everyday except weekends. I felt being stabbed on the chest and it's hard for me to cope up. I tried suppressing my emotions instead of repressing it. I felt the burden getting heavier and I find it hard to understand why it was happening. I felt depressed and I always held on to eating to feel the sense of comfort. I knew that something was wrong about me and it made me wonder why or how. I asked for the grace to accept the reality, to keep loving, to forgive, to continue being kind and do good to others even if they're not. I instilled to myself that I should be humble, forgiving and loving as Jesus Christ was.

Honestly, I asked a lot of question to God. I tried to ask the spirit to give me knowledge and wisdom to understand because I can't rationalize it. As the days pass by, things are getting harder and the feelings in me are almost at my peek. I felt being consumed by my emotions and I had to control myself before I do things recklessly. In my mind, I knew God was slowly bending me for Him to mold me and sharpen my character. God knew I had to strengthen my faith and he tested me to see how much I could move forward. Through that experience God showed me the power of prayer and how it changes your perspective. It didn't happen instantly yet I know God works mysteriously. Things became clear because my eyes were washed away with tears.

There's a line that pierced through me during the resurrection of Christ:

"He humbled himself therefore God raised him high"

During the third week, I noticed a change in me. The things that seemed to bother before are not that important now. I mean instead of making it as a big deal, I learned to ignore it. Instead of getting even, I decided to be humble. Instead of competing, I chose loving. Instead of complaining, I kept obeying. Instead of doing bad, I chose to do good. Instead of hurting, I chose forgiveness and healing. Instead of hating, I prefer loving. Instead of breaking, God taught me the importance of bending. I allowed God to have His way in me for I know greater things are yet to come and nothing just happens.

Praise God! Now all those experiences are nothing because God blessed me an enduring, kind, faithful, joyful, strengthened, trusting, prayerful and loving heart. I know God wants my heart to be in tune with His. I really praise and thank the Lord for all the realizations and the transformation He has done to me. No matter how hard things in life may seem just keep bending but not breaking. And now I can truly say that I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, hurt yet healed and being bent without breaking.

"God wants me to be flexible like a bamboo, to keep bending without breaking!"

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

Thank you and Praise God!

God bless! :)