Here's my journey in attending the ILC Cebu last April and until December 2009...
It was March 10, 2009 when I was disturbed because I
desired to go to attend the ILC in Cebu. I am
graduating BSN and I am a bit worried for the review in preparation for the
board exam this year.. Here's the actual blog post I did in Multiply…
Mar 10, '09 7:28 AM
Right now I am disturbed with the ILC in Cebu if I can go or will I stay...? haizzz don't know?
Finally I have in my HANDS the solicitation letter. Mixed feelings of emotions
were with me (sadness, worries, happiness, excitement, and doubts) even I
myself can't understand why but all I know is that GOD really wants me to
GO....oh please? oh God please guide my and our ways...
here's a message He wanted me to know when I was reading the THIS IS MY STORY
book owned by Alfie which contains stories of people that made them change and
surrender their life to GOD, living in struggles, pains and living for the service in the Glory of GOD..
Exodus 14:14
"The Lord will FIGHT for YOU; you need only to be STILL."
What a great message it was and an assurance to have faith, trust, hope and
hold on to GOD's promises and words.
- - - - -
And then the next day, I decided to ask permission
from our dean because we're going to have our review classes by Kaplan review
center. It will start the week after graduation. Since the ILC is a 3 day
activity and we have a Saturday schedule I decided to be absent so that I can
attend the conference. I am aware of the lessons and exams that I will miss but
I am hoping if it's possible to catch up. ILC Cebu comes once and I don't want
the opportunity to pass without doing anything. I prayed hard before I approach
our dean. Here's my blog post about it….
Mar 11, '09 12:30 PM
ouch haha it hurts noh..
You might be asking why? Well the pain feels like something related to a HEART
BREAK or being denied to by someone and hearing a constant NO instead of yes.
Yes I believe GOD has plans for me that's why everything is like this.
I was so confident and that I forgot what he really wants me. I had so many
dreams and plans yet I still am lazy to even pray at night and talk to HIM.
Maybe this is a wake up call for me to realize what GOD really planned for me.
Yep let YOUR will be done.
Just remembering the incident makes my heart ache and my feelings overflow.
Yeah I cried since I couldn't accept it yet I understand that it was for my own
good. I know GOD has his own ways and soon I'll be there (ILC) and now is not
the right time yet or maybe after. After going through this I might get an
answer...
"The LORD will fight for you; just be STILL"
Yes my LORD surely I will remember that...
I am just blessed and lucky to have friends to support me and that I will be
forever thankful for I call them God's gift of friends aka GGF. They made me
felt better ahhh thanks GOD. I know you feel what I felt. All the nervousness I
felt before talking and facing her (fear factor) and the pains and hurt I felt
after..
- - - - -
The dean explained to me what she thinks is right for
me. I understand her concern for me and I cried because I couldn't accept that
I won't be going there. It has been my dream to attend the ILC ever since I
entered YFC last July 2005. I have focused myself with my studies and I even
missed the RYC and PYC. It has been 4 years since I became a member and I am
struggling to attend the activities and even camps due to our busy schedule.
I can remember clearly about the words she said to me
and I was smiling due deep inside of me I was starting to cry. I felt so bad
that when I went out of the room I can't help my burst out into tears. I was
comforted by Maam Edel and Maam Suzette. They made me understand that it's not
the end and there are a lot of conferences even camps or activities that is to
come. They wanted me to prioritize and focus with the review and the exam. They
are both CFCs and they have daughters who were excelling in school and they
just want what is best for me. I felt relieved and somehow things became clear
to me but still at the back of my mind I desired to go despite the hindrances that
I am facing. I was also comforted by friends. I am grateful and blessed because
of their support in the community that I am in.
Weeks passed and still the desire was there. I
graduated and then the review started. I kept on attending the weekly gathering
and somehow they kept on promoting the ILC Cebu. I didn't pray to go there but
I know deep in my heart I was longing to go there. I kept hearing the promotion
like it was nothing but during the week or days before they leave for Cebu there was something in me that really disturbed me.
I felt God telling me to go. He touched my heart and
revealed to me what I truly asked. It was then that I realized that I really
wanted to go. I desire to go there. I cried and I couldn’t contain the feeling
of being not able to go. I didn’t want the opportunity to pass. I have missed a
lot already and I can't bear missing another one. I really have to go. I can
remember myself saying... "Mabuang ako kung hindi ako makaupod." (I
might go crazy if I can't attend.) I wanted to go. I am 100% sure that I really
really want to go. Those were my lines and I really wanted to find a way on how
to go there with the other delegates. Here's my actual blog post…
Please HEAR my PRAYER… Mar 31, '09 11:22 PM
Oh GOD..Truly only YOU know the desire of my
heart and only you hear my CRIES..... =p I dunno what to do right now and there
are a lot of things that bothers me. I can't think RIGHT and I feel so
helpless. All that I can do is CRY, HOPE and PRAY...
I have decided to go and attend the ILC in Cebu..
If ever HE permits me and shows signs for me then I'll go and abandon my tasks
here for the meantime. =] I really wanted to go since I THIRST for HIM. I admit
that I am SPIRITUALLY DRY at the moment and that I need this to light the FIRE
and be quenched from my THIRST.. I desperately WANT and NEED to attend that.
I may be confused but I know I really have to. And by doing this I know I have
to let go a lot of things and that I am responsible for that. Oh GOD please
take away all of my worries and fears that might stop me from serving and
attending the said event.... All i know is you CALLED me..and i will ANSWER....
=] I will go.. and HE will MAKE a way for me... =] THANKS.... =D
- - - - -
As of 12:44 AM
GUESS WHAT? haha I just received the ANSWER that I have been looking for.
God is so great. He supplies what I needed.. = ] And that I feel HE really does
permit me to go..=] Thank you...thank you.. you know WHO YOU ARE.. =] GOD
you're so AMAZING.... =] I now can Sleep happy and without WORRIES... =]
- - - - -
God is God of amazing and indescribable character. No
words can express the happiness that I felt after the tears that I shed. Truly
God gave the answer to my prayer through Francis who's my brother and friend in
the community. Through Him I was able to secure a slot in the ILC since
walk-ins were not allowed. After our chat til midnight I emailed Papa about my
decision to go. It was only 1 1/2 day before we leave for Cebu.
Guess WHAT? He ANSWERED!.. Apr 1, '09 6:17 PM
Last night I was so bothered about the
problems on going to ILC in Cebu, emailing
PAPA asking to permit me to go, wishing for a vacant slot, and of course my
fare and pocket money.
What I decided yesterday was very RAPID.. haha I mean it was so sudden and I
didn't expect to decide right away to GO. I just remembered a friend telling
and asking me about the planned trip I wanted to go. At first I said NO but
when I attended the meeting and as it was going on I suddenly felt a strange
feeling and thirst for GOD. There I was crying and exclaiming that I would GO.
I often said "I might go CRAZY if I can't attend that." I was so
crying yet still tried hard to smile so they won't notice. I want to be a part
of this event and this might never pass again. =] I wanted to grab the
opportunity before it slips away and never wanted to live with REGRETS.
Thankfully GOD did HELPED me and faithfully and lovingly answered my PRAYERS.
=]
My only desire is for me to attend. I don't want that the BOARD exam on
November will bother me since it is months away and I have plenty of time to
prepare. There I was planning and finding a way. I had worries and I didn't
know what to do but pray, wait and hope. =] Last night I couldn't sleep. Maybe
deep within me I was afraid and that I might not take it. =]
Morning....My eyes were so ouchy..haha Maybe because of the crying and sleeping
late. =] The review class was about pedia. There I was confidently telling my
CLOSEST friends about my PLAN and they were shocked about it. They thought I
backed out but then why so sudden? Hehe I was so glad since I could feel their
support for me that made me happy and gave me more strength to go on. =]
LUNCH....Manang (ATE) told us that PAPA called. Upon hearing it I was so afraid
and that almost near crying for I can sense what she is going to say. =[ When
she told me that it was ok and that he is going to give me 2k. There I was
crying. It's tears of joy and that I was so relieved about it. GOD it's a sign
already. You really want me to come??? Then I'll come.. GOD told me not to
worry but only to keep praying and have faith on HIM. I wanted to take my
SPIRITUAL life to a higher level since I need to be deeply involved with Him.
In nursing, it's building a relationship. =]
Right now I am packing up my things....so happy that I want to scream and tell
everybody about GOD. =] I am so blessed to have a family that is so
understanding, loving, caring, patient, and everything...All I know is that
they LOVE me and that I LOVE them.. =] Thanks GOD. Please do guide us on our
trip. May the Conference you prepared for US will be SUCCESSFUL and may we
bring GLORY to YOUR NAME. =]
Yes ILC.....KITAKITS.... =] My 1st ever CONFERENCE.... =] woooohh.. Well I am
gonna miss the review class in PSYCHE and Virtual Reality Test but i know I can
catch up.
"God will fight for you, you need only to be STILL.."
Yes my Lord... =] I will follow you... =] hehe
- - - - -
I attended our review the next day and at 1pm we will
be leaving for Cebu. Tears kept welling up
when Manang Evelyn accompanied me to our meeting place. I remembered her
telling Papa about the 2 awards I received last graduation and it was all
because of YFC and Community Service. As I kissed her goodbye, I felt mixed
emotions. I was happy and I can’t believe that this is happening. I am so
excited! My heart was full of joy and I can't contain it in me.
After praying before our travel and a short meeting,
I couldn't help but smile. This is the best answer to my prayer! There were a
total of 60+ delegates coming from Capiz. We rode a big bus and we left to Iloilo then Cebu. We
hurried up to catch the ferry/ship going to Cebu.
It was my first time to experience the praise cruise that they call. I even
experienced worshipping with the other delegates from Western
Visayas. Excitement was painted in our faces. The joy was
priceless. I was so thankful and blessed to be there.
We arrived at Cebu
and it's my 2nd time going there. I am like an explorer and I was so
amazed and I couldn't imagine what ILC would be like. I heard it's full of
sessions, worship, competitions and workshops. I didn't know what to expect and
all I can see is a crowd full of YFC with the support of the whole family
ministry of CFC. I can't believe that the total delegates of the conference
were 9000. Wow Praise God! Amazing!
Upon seeing the ILC venue, the delegates, the designs,
the gigantic JESUS letters, the globe, the flags, the booths and especially the
unique stage with a yellow arrow pointing upward really impressed me greatly. I
mean I didn’t know that ILC would be this so amazing and that I am blessed to
be here. There was joy that I myself could never hide. I was tasked to help out
to collect the food for our delegation. I was with the YFC high school based
from Capsu and I really enjoyed bonding with them. I witnessed different
competitions and especially the praise parade. I saw 3 priests having a concert
and even the Joshua band. The ILC is not just a conference but it is a
gathering of all the youth around the world.
I learned a lot of songs but there were some that
really touched my heart like Gracious God, Have your way, Heaven, We'll be
faithful and All for You. I dunno why but I felt God speaking to me through
those songs. It is really a privilege to worship together with the 9K delegates
and team of the ILC. I met leaders who were now Full time workers and I was
inspired by the mission that they do.
One great thing about the ILC is the workshops. There
had been a lot of workshops but I wasn't able to get a pass/sticker to enter
since it's only limited. Though I missed it but I witnessed it. I was together
with Jamela outside the in love workshop. I saw the Exhort workshop for
brothers. Since we can't enter inside so we decided to stay and listen outside
the venue to the in love workshop. I laughed as we listened because she was
teasing me with somebody heheh..
I guess the best thing were the sessions, the
reflection or prayer and the praisefest. Every session has it's own uniqueness.
One thing that remained in me that I really learned was during the 2nd
session and that is F n F that means Forget your circumstances and focus on
God's promises. I can really relate to the wonderful message it brings and it
is empowering.
The ILC will not be complete without celebrating the
Holy Eucharist which is the highest form of worship. Also since the conference
is before the Holy Week, we recited the Stations of the Cross and even
celebrated the Palm Sunday. It happens once and I'm so glad to be there! Thank
you Lord.
Though I can't remember the exact details and the
feelings I experienced back then, I am certain that after the conference I made
a move and that is to step up to a higher calling and leveling up my service to
God. I attended the regional shout (summer house training) for 1 week. We
conducted a community based camp which I and Francis became team leaders. I
started the CLP in CFC Singles for Christ.
I was approached to become a High School based
program head last Sep 2008. I invested my time and effort to empower and
evangelize the high school program. I became a part of the PCG of Capiz. I
really love my program because I never experienced being a YFC during my high
school years since I entered 1st year in college. I also was
privileged to be a part of my 2nd PYC as Secretariat head and the
biggest delegation was the high school exceeding the quota and we were 250 only
in the city.
We started the high school core group and slowly
gathered members in different schools in Roxas. We managed to have a weekly
gathering, a high school assembly, a victory party, a youth camp and covenant
orientation. I tried to go on a mission in the different areas. I really pushed
myself to serve God because I want to bring back the glory to Him. I managed to
serve Him while reviewing for the board exam. During those times I faced
temptations and even jealousy with my friends who were studying and focusing
hard on the board exam. I felt afraid but He assured me of the great plan He
has prepared for me. With His grace, I was able to file successfully for the
upcoming exam. I tried to focus on my review through audio lectures, scanning
books and listening to the review and taking down notes.
A month before the exam I managed to risk in
attending the RYC. The theme was Let your voice be heard. Shout out! It was
during that conference when God spoke to me about granting my prayer to pass
the board exam. I remember Him whispering to me during the praisefest. As I
feel Him embracing and assuring me, I couldn't help but burst into tears. I
hugged Tita Lyn and told her about it. It was God's affirmation and answer to
my prayer. I felt confident to face my battle and that is the NLE. I was also
inspired to wait for true love. Somehow there's this brother that share the
same passion as me and we're in the same team and community. Weeks before I
leave, I gave time for myself in preparation for the exam. We had our household
at my house and the PCG prayed over me before I left for Iloilo for the NLE.
Through the struggles I managed to conquer the NLE
with full of hope that I will pass. Before the year ended we had our Touch a
Heart project and organized an outreach program. Praise God for the success and
we will continue it next year! So far STEP UP has been a mission that I didn't
regret and it motivated me to go beyond borders and beyond my comfort zone. I
ran the race and I know I will win because the Lord is with and in me. This is
how my ILC CEBU experience influenced me and I will forever say YES to the
Lord. It has been an awesome journey with the Lord and His people and everything
is priceless. I am grateful how God slowly transformed and equipped to be his
servant in serving His people.
He proved to me that He will fight for me and I have
to be still. Through thick and thin, I will continue to be still as the Lord is
faithful and will never leave me behind. Thank you Lord for never giving up on
me and for always being there. Lord thank you for a journey and for the growth
that you imparted to me. I will surely continue serving you with everything
that I have and all I am is because of your grace. Allow me to evangelize and
inspire others Lord wherever I am. Use me as an instrument and equip me to
serve you more. I will make myself available for you and for the service of
your people. I will give my all and I will do your will. Lord I surrender
myself to you completely. Forgive me Lord. I lift up to you all my concerns.
Allow your spirit to touch and consume me. Lord let your will be done. In
Jesus' name, AMEN!
~Sarah Lim
CFC Youth for Christ Capiz
CFC Singles for Christ Dubai
