Father, send me.

As I read and reflected today's Gospel message I realized that the Lord is telling me something and I can feel it through the longing in my heart.

"The harvest is rich, but the workers are few. So you must ask the Lord of the harvest to send workers to His harvest. Courage! I am sending you like lambs among wolves." Luke 10:1-9

"Proclaim God's marvelous deeds to all the nations." Psalm 96

Lord I know what I want and I desire for a higher calling in my mission. I can't afford to wait and be like this. I am a person who wants to do and make things happen with the help of your grace. I just can't sit here and do nothing. I know I have to do something. I have to decide. I have to pray for this desire for mission.

"Alam ko po Lord kung ano talaga ang gusto ko. Hinahanap hanap ng puso ko at hindi ko kaya na ito'y tanggihan o balewalain. Gusto kong pagsilbihan ka ng buong buo. Ibibigay ko ang lahat na makakaya ko para sa misyon na ipinagkatiwala mo. Nararamdaman ko po na may kulang talaga. Nangungulila ako at hinahanap hanap ang iyong presensya sa communidad ng CFC. Hindi sapat ang serbisyo ko sa SFC at KFC kasi gusto ko bumalik sa YFC.  Ngayon ko lang nalaman na kailangan ko rin po magsilbi sa YFC. Sa YFC kung saan ako nag-umpisa, kung saan ako'y natuto, kung saan ako lumaki, at kung saan ako'y nagsumpa na pagsisilbihan kita sa abot ng aking makakaya. Lord gusto ko po mag misyon sa YFC kasi iyon ang gusto't ninanais ng aking puso. Kung ano man ang gusto mo para sa buhay ko, hayaan mo na matupad iyan sa ngalan ni Kristo, Aking Panginoon at Tagapagligtas. Amen."

My only desire in my heart now is go back to YFC. I want to serve the YFC community again. I want to teach and mentor the future leaders of this community. I want to spend my time in service with the youth who is the hope of the nation. I want to ease the feeling of homesickness, longingness and hunger to preach and proclaim God's word. I know and I feel that you want me to go back. I desire this so much Lord more than the desire to have a GG.

I may have failed in my profession as a nurse but I won't give up in pursuing my dream to become a missionary. You called me to be here Lord and I will firmly and bravely say Yes to the calling.

"The calling is loud and clear and I can no longer resist in denying it."

Lord I want to be sure of this feeling. Make your ways be known to me. Speak to me Lord. Tell me what you want. I am ready to listen. If it's not what I think it is then please give me a heart ready to accept whatever it is that you have planned for me. Lord I lift up and surrender this feeling. Give me the grace I need to understand and apply whatever it is that you taught me. Teach me to pray from the heart. Bless me Lord as I bless others with my blessings. Lord please let your will be done. All of this I ask and pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

Songs being played as I reflect and pray: Heaven, I know, Have your way, Give my all, Grateful, Larger than life, Never be the same, Spirit is strong, God in Me

January 26, 2013