Me after 3 years

A walk to remember:

After the workshop talk, we were given a paper to write our dream after 3 years and our prayer to God..

Dear God,
Thank you for the life, for the family, for the CFC community, for work and for everything. Father you know the status of my heart. I am afraid to love. I choose to love those who only treats me good. Lord may I choose to love you more and to love like Jesus did and to suffer like Him Lord. I surrender myself to you Lord. Have your way. Let it be done. Lord ikaw na po bahala!

In Jesus' name, AMEN!

(prayer and desire during the MEC 2013)
BELOVED
October 26, 2013
Al Ain, United Arab Emirates

DREAMS, DESIRES and BLESSINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FAMILY >>> Complete family!!!!!!!!! To be reunited after 10 years! Celebrate events together like the old days. Bonding! To be home in Pinas. Meet up with friends, barkadas, school mates and YFC families..

CAREER >>> Better job, pay, benefits, insurance, flexible leave and air fare! Find a new career in the office. To be better and to always improve!!

SERVICE >>> Higher calling of service, discernment (MV/FTPW), constant prayer time and be Mission Ready!

4G >>> LOVE TO LOVE<3 God's greatest and gorgeous gift! :) I believe in TRUE LOVE WAITS. I am so excited to meet Him in God's time. I'd be happy to be in a relationship with Him.. then if it's time, then marriage and hopefully have our own Christian Family wherein we can serve God together as CFC! Wow ever! <3

HOUSEHOLD >>> to be able to evangelize souls for God and lead them closer to Him. Thank you for blessing me with 4 angels! <3

ME >>> a Better ME (improved, good, loving, understanding, sweet, happy, waiting...) A love to love! <3 Become a SERVANT OF GOD! To be in complete surrender to His will. 3Ts (Time, talent and treasure) for God's greater glory!

Lord God please bless the desires of my heart. May they be in accordance to your will and plan for my life! Lord I entrust my future in You for you know what's best for me. :))))))) 

Ikaw na po bahala!

In your name, I trust! AMEN! <3

Let it go & Let God

I have been so addicted with the song because it reflects what I am going through right now.. I haven't been verbal about the situations that are coming my way. All I know is I can verbalize inspirational and motivational posts no matter what I am going through. I don't mention something negatively. (I usually turn a bad event to a good post with learning actually..) Yes, I don't post negative occurrences but I can definitely transform it to make it challenging, inspirational and always linked to God. (That's what I am proud of.. and I guess it's therapeutic for me and for those who will see it..) That's something I have grown up doing and I hope it works..

>>>>>>>> From the song, I linked it with>>>>>>Let go and let God take over.. :)))))))))))

I experienced being afraid, being isolated, being unable to express myself freely and everybody's opinion mattered to me (which I knew was wrong..) But then I realized I need to let it all go.. All the pains, hurt, cries and all other negative emotions that I have been hiding. I wanted to have a brand new start and before the year ends I wanna leave them all in the past and learn to move on. Yes I have grudges, anger, guilty feelings and depressive moments but I surrendered it all to God. It wasn't easy and I asked for the grace of love, patience, forgiveness, acceptance, hope and more faith so that I could go on further. I needed the time to relax, to think, to plan, to communicate, to de-stress and to seek God more so that I can act fully and freely.

Indeed, God is good. I feel so soooo better now. All the tears and the aches of the past are now a memory, a mirror and a good lesson learned. I became wiser, stronger, fiercer and I feel I can fight again. Of course it won't be possible if not for God and for the support of my family and friends. The decision was not that easy because I had to give up, to admit that I was weak and that I needed help. Things may change, appearances may improve, attitudes may be developed, relationships improved and my prayer time became stronger. I will obey and witness Lord even if it doesn't make sense! Thank you Lord for preparing me, for healing me, for molding me, for making me stronger and fearless. Thank you for you always act during the right time, never early nor too late. Thank you for the never ending love, assurance, mercy, forgiveness, understanding, blessings and for all things great and good in my life. You are a great God! You make things possible. I love you Lord.

Heal Me Father 02/06/13

Lord I can't breathe! :(( I have hoarseness of voice and dry cough! Thank you because I survive a day at work. Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have showered and will be showering upon me and my family. Save and heal me Lord. Only in your presence and embrace shall I be healed. Forgive me Lord of my trespasses and failures. I trust You Lord, my stronghold and strength. Deliver me from this struggle I have with my health. Restore me back to good condition so that I may serve you more and bring glory to Your name. Lord, I will be still because I know you are God and that you are in control of everything. In You Lord, I trust, I pray, I hope, I have faith, I love, I claim, I ask in Jesus name, AMEN.

My Child, your faith has saved you.

I tried to force myself to come to work today but I couldn't. I tried but I just can't do it. My mind says I have to but my body disagrees and tells me to rest and recover.

The whole day I did was sleep and dwell on my sickness. I felt so weak, tired and dizzy. I feel like my head is heavy and I couldn't breathe well. Somehow I was longing for someone to take care of me but I guess I have to do it on my one. I had to be strong enough to fight the sickness that I feel within. As I said before that I'm a bit dramatic when I feel pain or I'm sick.

It was just 2 hours ago when I read the gospel for today and somehow was strucked on the comforting words that the Lord was telling me. Usually, I make it a habit to read the gospel and say a short prayer before leaving the house and going to work but since I wasn't feeling well earlier I just read it later during the day.

Gospel: Mk 5:21-43

"My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her so that she may get well and live." Jesus went with him and many people followed, pressing around Him. Among the crowd a woman had suffered from bleeding for twelve years. This woman came up beind Him and touched his cloak thinking, "If I just touch His clothing, I shall get well." Her flow of blood dried up at once, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her complaint.

"Daughter, your faith has saved you; go in peace and be free of this illness."

Jesus arrived at the house and the people were wailing and weeping. "Why all of this commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but asleep." They laughed and Jesus sent them outside and went with the father and mother into the room where the child lay. Jesus took her by the hand and said, Talitha kumi! Which means "Little girl, get up!"

If it's one thing I've learned that is to get up. I mean I can't forever lay in my bed feeling sick and miserable or else it will just get worse or even more. I also learned I have to fight and not give in to these negative energies that's in my body or else it will consume me completely. I learned to treat myself and that I should never limit myself too much. My friends kept telling me "na wag mo masyadong tipirin sarili mo." I guess they were right and somehow I realized that. I also learned to give myself a break. With the demands I have at work and the pressure of stress and tiring duties I really need a break. I think I should stop compromising myself and start to love myself more. I mean it's ok to be selfless but it's not healthy to treat your own self less.

Lord please increase my faith. Assure me Lord that iI may overcome this struggle.

"My Child, your faith has saved you!" Lord may this assurance bring healing and peace to me.

Lord as I rest in your embrace may you heal me of things and feelings that I feel inside. Lord please heal me of the sickness that I feel and the weakness my body is having. Lord as what you said, "Daughter your faith has saved you; go in peace and be free of this illness." Lord I believe in your words and I know you will do as what you have promised me. Lord I claim victory over defeat and over this struggle. Lord let your will be done. I surrender and offer myself to you. 

In Jesus' name, AMEN!