Rejected but REDIRECTED.

As I attended the Arabian Catholic Youth Conference which was a 3 day activity held at St. Joseph Church, Abu Dhabi, UAE last November 15-17, 2012 I felt the Spirit of the Lord urging me to go and experience the World Youth Day the year after. God blessed me with that conviction because He knew I needed to experience it. I was so sure that time that I needed to go. In my heart there was a longing, a space that needed to be fill, a desire and a prayer that wanted to be with God through the event. The World Youth Day is not just a gathering of Catholics but it is a time to renew our faith and also to meet the Holy Father which is our beloved Pope.

I'll pray for the grace to attend the World Youth Day in Rio, Brazil 2013! Amen!

-Sarah

I had dreams and plans for the WYD but my concern was finances and I didn't know where to get the 10K money for me to go. I know money is never an issue but standing in my shoes it is definitely a struggle. I don't earn as much because I am inexperienced and fairly new in the country. I only earn a regular salary enough for myself and for my family. I am thrifty and I was raised to be practically wise when it comes to money. I was thinking of a part time job for me to raise it but I think I wasn't capable of something. I doubted my capability and all the more I doubted God's possibility for me.

I applied the leave of 2 weeks for the WYD and it was approved. I decided to help in raising the fund. I thought of ways but I never made a move. I was stagnant yet I prayed but I lack the faith in doing something to make it happen. I guess it was hard for me to accept that I couldn't afford it. It was too late for me that's what my mind was telling me. I felt sad knowing that I promised to go there yet I failed. I'm sorry Lord that I lacked faith and that I started to drown with my doubt, fears and what ifs.

I found it hard to accept the fact that I was not capable to raise the kind of money in 6 months. I can't sacrifice the money since I know I'll need it for support and other things. I was in denial but in the end I knew God has better plan for me. With God's grace, I was able to let go of that desire slowly but surely.

In my mind, I was discerning of going home instead. I wanted to see my family and loved ones. I wanted to go home. I want to settle things and I want to take break because I am being consumed slowly and I don't want any negative change in me. I knew that I'm starting to be unhealthy – with relationships, diet, problems etc. I asked God for the wisdom behind this. It was a change of plan and I had to face it.

The desire to go was there and I didn't know how or where. I kept going and I struggled all the more when the environment was not being nice to me even if I was to them. My heart was shattered because of hurt, trial and disappointment. I felt being stepped on yet I managed to keep myself standing still on the ground and holding on to God. It was difficult to work yet I stayed positive and I tried to be kind. God knew I had to overcome this. It was when I realized I can freely express my feelings, that I had a voice and everything happened because it was my choice. God made me feel angry, sad, disappointed and it was a time that I really prayed hard. I had frequent questions to Him regarding all the why's that I had in mind. I kept reminding myself that God is merciful and just that nothing escapes Him. He will give what is just and what is right for all. I never showed anger nor revenge yet I was praying for love and kindness to envelope me. I placed my trust in Him and that He is in control of everything. Though the situations were hard on me, still I'm thankful because Christian character was bent and learned how to deal with it positively. I had ups and downs yet I managed to go through it with God's grace and healing.

A lot of changes happened. I filed a local leave from June 30 to July 30 which was approved. I had to take it or else they won't pay it. I had no plans whether I'll work part time or just stay at home. I didn't know what to do but God has something that He wants me to do. It was somewhere last May when I decided to go home and have a break. I was again tested yet I didn't doubt. This time, I was full of faith that God will carry me through and He did. What I thought was impossible before was indeed possible. I held on to His promise and I experienced His greatness. The joy and excitement of going home was priceless. I was teary eyed and very emotional that I can easily express my feelings. I was refreshed and renewed. I settled my previous relationship. I asked forgiveness and was forgiven. I shared my time with family, relatives and still, YFC. I was reminded to OBEY and WITNESS and this is a miracle that He revealed to me. I may not have been to the World Youth Day because God knew that He wanted me to be HOME instead. He gave me a better answer to my prayer and I feel so blessed to experience going home the 1^st time. I just can't believe it and I know it's real. God is so amazing! Thank you so much Lord!

Indeed, God answers our prayer with a yes or no because He knows what is best for us. It doesn't mean that He won't give it now but He's waiting for the right time to give it and sometimes it exceeds our expectation. God's no is not a rejection but a wonderful redirection. If the Lord allows it then it will be done. I may have prayed for WYD but God allowed me to fulfill my dream of going home for the first time. I was redirected to something better than I could imagine. God is a God of impossibilities and truly all things became possible for me because I believed and I had faith. Everything was made beautiful and God works in amazing ways that we cannot see but we can experience completely.

Thank you Lord. I feel so blessed and my feelings of gratefulness are overwhelming! It was unexpected and You never failed in fulfilling your promises and in fact it was "SIKSIK, LIGLIG and UMAAPAW!" The Lord's blessing upon me is immeasurable, uncontainable and overflowing! You are a great and awesome God. Thank you for making things beautiful in your perfect time and for allowing me to experience your greatness in witnessing the impossible things made possible with your love and grace, AMEN!

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR THE ONE WHO BELIEVES.

-Mark 9:23