Tuesday, July 15, 2014

God's musician someday

Frankly, I am ambitious, purposely driven, a day dreamer, mostly a trying hard gal who's aspiring to become God's musician someday.

My journey to loving and performing music for God started in YFC. I can still remember the time during a youth camp in Tapaz way back 2005 and as I woke up, I heard Kuya Lloyd singing the song praiseworthy as He plays the guitar. From that day on, I started loving and learning to play the guitar. I was so inspired by the former drug addict now renewed son of God who was worshipping the Lord early in the morning. That moment moved me and inspired me to do the same for God. I guess that it was one of the reasons I came to love playing "Praiseworthy and all other songs" for it is meant to bring back all the glory and praise to God alone (SOLI DEO GLORIA).

I got my own red guitar way back 2006. I struggled as I started to learn it while balancing my time for studies, church, service, family and simple joys. I was so blessed to have someone tutored me as I study the chords, strumming patterns and the song. I have learned several songs and at first it was a painful yet exciting beginning. No pain, no gain as they say it and I had to endure it. I had to go through ups and downs wherein I would sometimes lose my focus and interest in pursuing the music I wanted to give to God. Years passed and the same pattern keeps going - on and off even until now.

I started recording some covers and found myself starting to re-learn what I learned in the past. I felt like a drop out since I started this dream last 2006 and it's 2014 now, I'm still not graduating. Haha! I was practicing daily (trying). I tried new songs and new chords to play especially the ones that I tried to avoid - the complex chords. I was goal driven since I remember the reason why I started to play. I was going out of my comfort zone before. I went to different places in my province, bringing with me my guitar, my desire to proclaim God's greatness and trying my hardest to teach them the song as I play it myself. "Sariling sikap" or self supporting as they call it. Before it was a struggle to bring with me as I go on mission a guitarist so I managed to do it on my own then years passed I arrived in Dubai with a mission to fulfill.

Lately this year, I was called to become the music min for the Easter KFC activity last April since no one was free to do it. I couldn't say no but because I had the same passion in me who's half asleep, I said yes. Slowly the desire I had before was awakened. I find myself loving it again and I tried hard to practice for the activity. I was nervous and afraid since it's going to be my first time playing the music seriously by following the accurate strumming pattern in public and with the power chord attached to a power source. I felt not confident enough since I knew I might make a mistake in the middle of the song and lose focus. In the name of service and for God, I managed to play the song using the guitar while singing without mistake, able to remember the chords, able to serve as an emcee and deliver the talk to the Junior 2 kids all in one KFC activity. Superb grace and leading from the Holy Spirit. Thank you Lord.

We had a mission in Dibba last May and I was privileged to be there. During that week, I was practicing the songs since they needed a guitarist. I tried my hardest but the guitar which I was using was returned to the owner since he also needed it. Despite that I still learned the songs just in case. On that day, the guitarist didn't know the songs since he was from SOLD. Me, feeling ambitious tried to play it nervously. God's spirit works wonders and I was able to do it correctly (maybe because the guitar was Yamaha). I played "Have your way" and some songs which I knew. It was a nice feeling because I was singing, playing and praying simultaneously together with the group as one during the worship. God moves us mysteriously and for sure He has heard our cries and praises as the activity ended successfully.

May 16, 2014 as I shared and testified God's greatness through my struggle as I looked for a job in the Natcon at RAK, I was again affirmed by God to push my desire to play for Him. I was blessed by Ate Elma (Kim from AUH) in which she gave me her guitar to practice and do mission for God. She was with us during the mission in Dibba. She felt like I needed a guitar of my own to pursue the mission for God. I felt like winning that time and I was close to tears since I was affirmed by several people after my sharing and it was a great moment to cherish. From that day on, my journey to fulfill the dream/mission continued and is slowly blooming. I am a work in progress. I can be a trying hard when it comes to playing the guitar and especially in singing but I am doing it not for them but for God. I dunno where my confidence comes from but I didn't feel any shame when I recorded covers for God for I know out of millions, I can inspire one soul.

A month later, I was blessed by God to attend a music min workshop. For the first time, I felt honored to be a part of the music min. They had talks and workshops that made me realize the importance of the whole team to perform a good music. Each instrument/function is nothing without the presence of others. I realize that pride is the enemy and we have to battle it with humility that as we improve we should always remain on the ground and bring back the glory that God solely deserves. I am somewhat guilty (at times) but I am affirmed to keep going and to change it. I am thankful for the opportunity and the inspiration that I brought with me will help me in pursuing the dream. Thank you Lord for the assurance and the confidence despite my flaws and weakness. I went home happy and blessed with the eagerness to strive more as I become an alter Christ wherever I will be.

As the days, weeks and months pass, God is still affirming me to keep journeying even if it's difficult, sometimes frustrating, hurting and expectations are rising. I am a few big steps away from my dream and I know I can finally achieve it with God's grace.



"I will never stop when I am tired but only when I am done." 

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Thank you! God bless! :)
Deo Gloria!